This is a self indulgent piece and something I’m sure many of us can identify with. As an attempt at mild catharsis on this beautiful Sunday, let’s see where this takes us.
Some days I wake up and something isn’t right. Am I forgetting something? Is there something I should be doing? What has got me feeling this way? I sit with these feelings, and continue doing that, just sitting. I watch TV, I play games, I read something, I try to learn something. Still, a feeling of restlessness. I’ve got free time to spend as I will, but I have an appetite for something I can’t always articulate, let alone satiate. Does this ring any bells?
Over the last year or so I have made attempts at maximizing anything that constitutes “down time.” This usually consists of the above examples concerning reading and learning. For example, current themes are educational books on investing and continuing the pursuit of fluency in another language. For each individual that is working towards personal improvement, I’m sure the material is as individual as the shape of a snowflake. I see my friends, my family and successful people in general and find myself comparing my situation to theirs (especially achievements) at this stage of my life. This is both motivating and incredibly depressing. I’m inspired to strive for more and concerned that I haven’t achieved enough. How is this good for me? If you’re thinking the same thing, how is it good for you? Simple, it’s not.
I’m not one for affirmations. I wholeheartedly believe in the cliche that actions speak louder than words, and honesty with yourself is where you will find the real truths of your character. It’s hard to be honest with yourself. If you’re like me, you’ll catch yourself lying to yourself all the time. The important thing is that you caught it. Then you can take real action to improve whatever that needs addressing and sail a course that is true. You think you don’t lie to yourself? Take the time to listen. Do you really live up to your narrative?
So in the spirit of being true to myself, I know I won’t have the success or the lives of others. This is not giving in, this is being realistic. This allows to me to focus on what will work for me, not others. Returning to the subject of restlessness at the beginning. I was struggling this terribly this morning. Boo hoo right. Then I got in the car and took a drive to the mountains. The change was incredible. The worry, the trepidation, the anxiety, it all melted away.
Leaving the window down to take in the last day of winter was all that was needed to radically change my whole thought process. It reminded me of a Tony Robbins seminar I participated in late last year. Change in physiology. This is a real thing. Don’t believe me? Try it. The simple act of moving is underrated. A soft spot for Top 40 music had me moving in my seat, and the anticipation of snowboarding had me singing along. I had drastically changed my physiology and location, and I was reaping the benefits.
You don’t have to live in the snow, you don’t have to be near a beach. All you need to do is get up and move. Go for a walk. Put your music on. Clarity is closer than you think.
So I hope you enjoy where this journey took us, I know I feel better. I want to know if you have better ways to achieve clarity or mitigate (usually) unnecessary anxiety? Positive and constructive thoughts, not affirmations, are the roads and highways where real internal growth occurs. Take a drive once in a while.